Yu Spilt The Tea

♾ Yu had felt fatigued all day, dreaming of darkness and drinking boba tea. Thirsting for a nap, she had just cancelled her cell phone plan w no strategy for a replacement. T-Mobile was having a deal. Or at least the appearance of a deal. She loved a deal. And the pink fked up aesthetics of the company appealed to her. She hated pink but loved anything quirked up or mildly schizophrenic, esp in a telecommunication juggernaut. Their Johnny-CEO was also a bit of a cryptkeeper looking dude, which didn’t hurt; hocus pocus locust energy. BS is spout about data limits, services, billing, sign on the dotted line, etc. Don’t care. Doesn’t matter. “Do you have the yPhone and ducking new Ombuds?” …

“…Huh!?”, T mobile’s finest responds. Correcting herself, Yu raises her voice, “Give me a gd bono aids phone w max storage and the new errbuds!” It’s 9 pm on the east coast. Yu rouses, her eyes gathering composure. She didn’t end up getting a new phone plan, instead opting to pour the remainder of her boba tea into the kiosk used to check-in customers, making sure to funnel and mash the boba into the power and speaker orifices. When sternly asked to leave, Yu exclaimed, “No, no, no, no…wait!!!…BOBA Tea-MOBILE, BOBA Tea-MOBILE!!!”