Can’t Fall Asleep

♾ He had just re watched Bigger Longer & Uncut and was reminded of the potent phrase uttered by Eric, “Dog Shit Taco!” This combination of words never failed to excite him. Easily accessible imagery not often seen in day to day life. He figured he would buy the domain, www.dogshitta.co. His wigger centric brain fixated on the “dog shitta” portion of “dog shit taco” due to the arbitrary separation created via the .co used in the URI. Dot co (.co) was a domain suffix reserved for companies, err ‘intended’ for companies. “What could be sold under the guise of dog shit taco or dog shitta?” He pondered…this was not the exercise he had in mind. He let the domain name lapse ceding ownership to the ethereal. “Hmmm, South Park was still pretty funny.” He’d like to imagine a promotional burger for Whataburger or WacArnolds which uses green Katsup and black buns to promote new forms of reusing nuclear waste for human consumption. Genetically grown Jalapeños that appear as biohazard symbols when sliced. Call it the The Spicy Biohazard Burger; both for its connection to using nuclear waste to form an imperfectly emulated beef patty and also for the hazardous exit it inevitably makes from one’s bowel post-dining. “Taco Bell actually sounded kinda good.” He pictured a promotional ad on a bus stop upright for the Dog-Shit-Taco-Supreme-Meal. Same concept as the The Spicy Bio Hazard McDouble, only using dog ordure instead of nuclear waste. It had just dawned on him that “Bio” implied a biological connection, and nuclear waste, while hazardous, may not be biological in nature; at least as hazards are classified. “Excrement is about to make a huge splash in the poplit, fkin calling it now.” Dozing off, it seemed to him as though Mountain Dew already showed qualities of being made from some type of nuclear run-off.