Things Found

♾ TV PITCH FROM DEAD UNCLE’S GMAIL DRAFT(S): Opening to a vacant and dimly lit ice rink somewhere in fly-over America, a sad looking thing, crying from joy. A father, and closeted lesbian, whom, only thru preference falsification over many scores, built a family and raised children and bought a home and saved up for a doap nest egg, and gave a better life for those to follow him, discovered the meaning of life and suffering and creation amognst his ultimate transcendent, generative self-actualization…but he was ultimately unfulfilled? In partnership with Deloitte & NuCor Steel:

Nickelodeon presents…

CRUDELY ETCHED INTO THE BATTERY COVER OF A TI-83: “This new vveed allowing (i.e. causing) mffkers to conflate profundity w complete retardation.”