Second Page Advertising

♾ DINER’S CLUB INTERNATIONAL CONDÉ DE NAZGÛL SPONCON:<full-page print ad> A large banner in a well lit french restaurant: “Too many muses, not enough masters.” Subheading, “Egg Theory extroversion is consuming the aristocratic party girls whilst artistic authoritarians have died with the dissipation of the after party OR How your favourite artist manipulated the Financial Times to move away from the pink.” Low apr fk stick aesthetics, shitloads of red and gold, people smoking cigs n eating fish. And a link at the bottom of the page, https://diner.scard, that allows people to infect their phone or pc directly with malware, giving ‘Diner’s Club Card Review’ staff the ability to monitor individuals’ behavior thru the device’s camera and mic. After surveillance metrics have been satisfied and subsequent review completed, you’ll be notified of acceptance or rejection to the Diner’s Club Cinematic Universe. A self-referential blurb in disclaimer sized font at the paper’s edge reads, “That’s what it’s called, right? Diners Club? Idk, if so, mad gay name for a CC company.”